Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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