I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
