i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
