i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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