your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
