I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
