yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
