All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
