Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
be right there i have to get my cape
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
