Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
