She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize