Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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