i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
