Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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