I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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