stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
