i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
