MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
