I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
