AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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