At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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