I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
