Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
operation harelip BJ is a go
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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