i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
