It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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