I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
