I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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