piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
