btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
