he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize