My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
