Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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