A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
