Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
