is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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