YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Randomize
