fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
