Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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