I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
