Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
