maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
