It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
