Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
