Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Shame - the story of my life.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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