you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
