I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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