I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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