this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
