you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
