Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The struggles of a small town man whore
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
