I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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