He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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