There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
