Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
organizing the empties. That sober.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize