Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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