DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
