maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
even my farts smell like vagina
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize