If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
