I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
