I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
