who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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