the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We need a shit load of segways right now
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
