god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
