I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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