Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Pappa wants mamma naked
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
