The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
