That reminds me...we need to get swords
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
