I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
