kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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