Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
